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Inspiration and Experiences

Wallflower

As soon as I watched the film “Perks of Being a Wallflower” and after wiping away the tears, I googled what actually a wallflower means. I found out that it is a southern European plant with fragrant yellow, orange-red, dark red or brown flowers that bloom in spring. Metaphorically, a wallflower is someone who is introverted, usually has social anxiety and will always avoid the limelight.

I watch films to relate to the characters. My Therapist says that I do that to find answers as to what I should do in certain situations in real life. I think he got that from me explaining my life situations from either a film scene or a dialogue and I am not ashamed of that. I think this makes me cut out for the film industry I aspire to be a part of someday.

About this film, I related to all three characters, in different stages of my life. I used to be Charlie, the wallflower, socially anxious, avoiding human contact and borderline depressed. A time came in my life when all this social anxiety evaporated and I had a personality transformation where I became an extreme extrovert but it came with its own cons, I let in toxic people in life, just like Sam. I was oddly attracted to potential heartbreakers- It was like the belly ache you get after eating too much at one time, after having nothing to eat after a long time.

But then, came a time when I gradually turned into Patrick. If someone were to write a character sketch of Ezra Miller’s character and mine, I think this phase of my life would oddly overlap his. Patrick or ‘Nothing’ is a person who follows “Come what may” as his motto rather than “C’est la vie”. As much as he is out to the world, he has secrets buried so deep, even Sam had some unknown to her.

But the latest traits I have acquired include a mixture of all three, Charlie’s grand gestures and willingness to do anything for his friends, Sam’s realization towards toxicity in people and making right decisions in relationships, and Patrick’s acceptance towards his fears which has made him less vulnerable.

At the end of the day, I aspire to know what I deserve and then accept the love I think I deserve. Because a wallflower doesn’t need people to water it, they prefer to grow from the sunlight they deserve and get.

Written by: Manas Daxini

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